Overgrown nails. Wayward cuticles. Chipped polish. Gnarly nails are detestable. But, to me, equally detestable is having to spend precious free time getting a manicure. Manicures are billed as a pampering service-a treatment on par with a massage or facial. They are nothing of the sort. The process of nail grooming has zero of the inherent let-yourself-go type relaxation found in a massage or a facial. The hour long ritual feels like a monumental waste of time. Yes, I covet glamorous hands. But, as I try and relax into the soaking, cuticle trim and buffing of the nails, all I can think about is what I would rather be doing. I could tend to the nails myself. But, invariably, after filing on my own, they are just ragged enough to annoy me. So, after six weeks, I submit to the professional taming of my neglected paws. But, when the hand massage is offered, I demur. I have things to do!